The Call

What is my calling in life? Where does God want me? These questions are perhaps the most frustrating, confusing, and painful that a Christian may ask.

I don’t have an answer to this question, a quick, ready-made solution…unfortunately. But I have an observation.

One of the most persistent problems of the human heart is a grasping attitude. Our vocation, our happiness rests safely in Jesus’ hands, in the best hands there could be!, and yet we want an answer – that is, we want to appropriate our purpose, our mission, our place, we want it to be in our hands. But that’s just the thing – our vocation is not ours – it’s God’s calling. He wants to give us happiness. Do we believe that? I mean, really. Do I believe that God desires to give me a place in the world, in the Church, where I will be really, truly happy? If we forget that our vocation is a gift, then we’ll always make the mistake of asking God to tell us, of wanting to know and grasp it in our hands, as opposed to being always entirely dependent on God and listening closely to His will as it is revealed in our daily life.

And point number two is simple. Our calling is not some abstract, magical spiritual reality out there that we are supposed to guess or figure out, like a puzzle. It is also not a dream castle of ideas, ideals, desires, without any concrete form in our life. The calling is revealed in and through the events, circumstances, and movements in our lives. God puts people and events in our path in order to show us. We’re not going to figure this out by incessantly asking Him in prayer. Obviously, God does speak to us in prayer, too, but the “inner voice” you hear is, I have a sneaking suspicion, not enough to discover God’s plan. For instance, if one is in the seminary, and he starts building beautiful plans and dreams for a wonderful marriage with the imaginary perfect spouse – well, even if these things seem nice and sanctifying during prayer, chances are they are not God’s will because they are not real. Look at the stuff, the raw matter of your life – there is the place that Christ wants to meet you. Not in your head.

So? Well, it’s not an easy answer, but it’s the true one. The only way we’re going to find our vocation and be faithful to it is by staying close to Christ. The closer we are to Him, the clearer our life will emerge. Plus, if we do, He will not let us down. He’s not trying to play hide and seek with us – He will make His will known, in His time. That’s the frustrating part. But, of course, He does know best. And we do not. So there. Just trust.